If it isn’t one thing, then it’s another.
After enduring two weeks of pure agony with my favorite college football team – arguably two of the worst losses ever for the program – I was in need of a pick-me-up.
Naturally, I turned to my favorite professional team, the New England Patriots for some solace. I mean I had some HIGH expectations for the Pats coming into the season. And my hopes and dreams were centered on their retooled passing game and the addition of the freakish wideout Randy Moss.
I had been waiting months to see the Patriots suit up again, to hear about a Brady-to-Moss touchdown, to put last year’s season-ending loss to the Colts out of my mind.
So, I head to a friend’s house to watch the game – it’s lunchtime and I needed to get out of the office anyway. We were both excited.
Not long after I showed up, which was sometime during the first part of the second quarter, Tom Brady’s golden right arm showed me what I had been dreaming about for all those months: Brady-to-Moss for a 33-yard gain, which was immediately followed by a case of Brady-to-Moss for a 22-yard gain.
Oh, how we celebrated!
It was like that last dollar we spent on a PowerBall ticket had actually paid off.
We were rich beyond our wildest dreams, and everything in the world on that rainy Sunday became much, much brighter.
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!
Then, after two days spent at the Cloud Nine Club and Spa, it was like the IRS stormed the resort, kicked us out for tax evasion with our PowerBall winnings and confiscated them to boot.
Unbeknownst to my friend and I, Bill Belichick, the Patriots head coach and the NFL equivalent of Yoda (exceedingly goofy hoodie and all), had authorized someone on his staff to videotape the Jets’ coaches’ signals.
This was not good.
The statement the Patriots made with their season opening victory was washed away with the talk of cheating.
When I found out the punishment that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell levied on the Pats Thursday night at the bar, I spit my beer everywhere.
Belichick accrued the largest possible fine, $500,000, the team was fined $250,000, and draft picks will be lost.
Beyond that, though, is the haze of suspicion now hanging over New England’s three Super Bowl wins.
I don’t get it.
Without the cheating – and against the Jets of all teams – we were accepted as one of the best four teams in the league.
Now, we’re just known as the best cheater.