broad street babies

I’d like to take this time to congratulate the Philadelphia Flyers hockey club for winning the award for “Dirtiest Hockey Team of 2007-2008”.

Just when it seems that a group of “professional” athletes couldn’t sink any lower or act less professionally, the babies from Broad Street continue to amaze their fans, haters, and even their own teammates by performing a myriad of harmful on-ice antics.

I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t it too early to crown the Dirtiest Hockey Team of 2007-2008?

The answer is a vehement “No”.

Here’s why:

Steve Downie suspended 20 games for his brutal preseason hit on a vulnerable Dean McAmmond.

Jesse Boulerice suspended 25 games for crosschecking Ryan Kesler in the face.

Randy Jones suspended 2 games for his hit from behind on Patrice Bergeron.

Scott Hartnell suspended 2 games for driving the head of Andrew Alberts into the dasher as the defenceman was down on his knees to stop a pass.

Clearly, there seems to be a trend here.

Scratch that.

If anything, it’s more like a contest. A dirty, dirty contest with no regard for the safety of others.

And furthermore, I wouldn’t be surprised if Flyers players were more concerned with one-upping each other’s dirty hits, rather than winning hockey games. Picture a typical conversation on Philly’s bench:

Player 1: Holy shit! Did you see Jonesy just deck that guy?

Player 2: Yeah, almost perfect. The guy’s head was down, he was about 3 feet from the boards, and all

you could see were his numbers.

Player 1: Nice form. I give it an 8.

Player 2: An 8 , eh? Well, tomorrow night I’m gunna get me a friggin’ 10!

Player 1: Go get ’em.

As the cheap shots continue to pile up — particularly in games against the Boston Bruins — the Flyers players in question insist that they are not dirty players.

Not dirty?!

Maybe you guys aren’t exactly familiar with the word. But take a closer look at the heinous acts you’ve committed and I guarantee that even a bunch of unfunny clowns like yourselves would come to some sort of realization.

Your current group of players is on pace for nearly 15 suspension-worthy incidents over the course of this season and after only 23 games, you have four players who have already been suspended for 49 games!

And that’s not dirty?

Just imagine what it would be like if teams retaliated at the same level that your organization regularly operates.

I guess that would be a little far-fetched, though, wouldn’t it?

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2 responses to “broad street babies

  1. On a somewhat unrelated note, doesn’t it seem like the Flyers manage to have a new “franchise” goalie every two or three years. I feel like in the last 10 years or so they’ve had no less than five goalies that were among the best in the league for at least a season. Weird, but just a thought.

  2. Pingback: Lost Cats « The Looper

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