Anal-yze This

Houston Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui continues to battle with a bothersome butthole.

(Say that three times fast.)

After dealing with an ongoing hemmorhoid problem, things only got worse for Matsui when he was diagnosed with a case of anal fissures.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the condition — which is probably a good thing — anal fissures are cracks or tears on the anus skin. They are a result of a strained anus and generally lead to bleeding and post-defecation pain.

(If you thought Roger Clemens’ bloody butt saga was bad, think again.)

On Monday, Matsui underwent surgery to repair his condition.

And although Dr.Eric Haas at The Methodist Hospital rests assured that the surgery was a great success, I’d bet the house that a bulldozer full of rice and the quest to perfecting the head-first slide are the real key to Kaz’s recovery.

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