Good Week/Bad Week

Here are this week’s biggest winners:

Jon Gruden- On Thursday, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach got a chance to caddie for the PGA’s John Daly. It was practically love at first sight when the two met amidst a 2 1/2 hour rain delay – – under the Hooters Owl’s Nest tent, nonetheless. When asked if the new caddie helped, the always entertaining Daly replied, “Oh, yeah. He fires you up.”

Alexander Ovechkin- After scoring only one goal in his last 8 games, the NHL’s leading scorer snapped out of his ‘slump’ by scoring 3 first period goals on Monday, followed by 2 on Wednesday. This puts A.O.’s goals total at 54, and puts him back on pace for being the first player to score 60 goals since Mario Lemieux did it during thr 1995 -1996 season.

Jonathan Papelbon- The Red Sox and Jonathan Papelbon have finally come to an agreement on a one-year, $775,000 contract. The transaction nearly doubles Cinco Ocho’s previous contract, and should help the intimidating closer focus on the upcoming season with a clear conscience.

Boston Celtics- Upon defeating the Pistons on Wednesday, the Celtics clinched a playoff berth with 23 more regular season games to go. They also signed veteran point guard/alien look-a-like, Sam Cassell, a valuable asset to any team.

Here are this week’s biggest losers:

Tim Thomas- Up until Monday’s meeting with the Washington Capitals, the Bruins netminder had been playing out of his mind. On Monday, though, Thomas was pulled twice, surrendering 7 goals en route to a 10-2 loss.Things didn’t get much better when he gave up 5 on Thursday during a 8-2 loss against Toronto. Numbers like these have to make you wonder what’s going on lately.

Tripp Isenhour- The former PGA Tour cardholder was brought up on charges of cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird. The charges stem from a December 12 incident in which Isenhour killed a red-shouldered hawk with a golf ball during the taping of a television show. Fed up with the hawk’s relentless squawking and interruption of the show’s taping, Isenhour repeatedly attempted to eradicate the bird by hitting golf balls at it. As the bird neared closer, Isenhour hit it, resulting in death. This judgement malfunction could result in a maximum of 14 months in jail and fines up to $1,500.

Albert Pujols- The All-Star first baseman for the Cardinals is in need of Tommy John surgery after doctors found a torn ligament, bone spurs, and arthritis in his elbow. Though a team doctor told Pujols to wait until after the upcoming season, it will be interesting to see how yet another injury-plagued season affects his high-powered game.

Ernie Els: Underachiever, or, Great Golfer and Globetrekker Extroardinaire

After a 6:24 a.m. phone call from the Cynic’s publishing company, Denton Publications, and the upstairs neighbor’s blaring TV set at 6:39, the illusion of getting back to sleep vanished.

But after perusing some of my favorite Internet haunts, I came across this lead-in to a golf story on ESPN.com:

“Long thought to be an underachiever who plays too much golf around the globe, Ernie Els will invoke some big changes to his schedule for the 2008 season in hopes of some more major hardware.” (Story here)

In his “Weekly 18” segment, our man, Jason Sobel –– a senior golf editor at ESPN.com and previously famous at The Looper for his foray into caddying –– throws around a label for the Big Easy that I had kind of heard before but had not noticed anywhere with the display space of the ESPN.com golf page. And I must disagree.

Maybe you can joke in your caddyshack, around your poker table, by the water cooler, or in your fishing shanty about Els’ shortcomings as a golfer –– incredible talent but only thre majors to show for it –– but there are few more accomplished players in the game of golf right now. Calling a man with three major championships an underachiever in the Age of Tiger is preposterous.

There are only two currently active golfers –– and that’s really a stretch at this point –– who have more major wins than Ernie Els: Tiger Woods (13) and Nick Faldo (6). There are only two others with three majors (Vijay Singh and Phil Mickelson) and only four golfers still active with two majors (John Daly, Retief Goosen, Sandy Lyle and Jose Maria Olazabal).

Are we calling Els an underachiever in that crowd?

I don’t think so. If any big name golfer can be considered a true underachiever, I would nominate Davis Love III and not because I almost caddied for him. Love was so good for so long and only has one major to show for it. At this point in his career, those close to him have conceded his heart is not into being the best in the world any longer.

Admittedly, Els one of the most gifted golfers in the world, but whether or not he follows the Tiger Woods track to success (fewer total events, more scheduling strategy) is completely his prerogative and I applaud him for, up until now, doing things his way.

I’m pretty sure there’s more to life than golf, or major championships, or millions in endorsements. Those are all nice things, but to measure someone’s success or achievement on those terms is unfortunate.

If I had it my way, obviously Tiger is tops. Among the world’s other top-tier pro golfers, I’d certainly take Ernie’s game and jet-setting, globe-trekking lifestyle over Phil’s rumored gambling issues, and I would most definitely take Ernie’s life over John Daly’s incredible talents (Tiger Woods has called him the most talented golfer on the PGA Tour) and domestic troubles.

Note to Ernie: Keep doing your thing, baby. If you want a travel buddy I’ll have my cell phone at the ready.